Without word.....

Finally....It's over!!i thought i won't have such courage and patient to finish my STPM...In tis 1 and the half years,i think of giving up over hundreds of times....my heart is filling with tears....and lost many things...and i thought form 6 is really terrible!but guess wat??the last day of my exam,when i sat on the car,i feel that i'm glad 2 bcum one of the form 6 students...all the tears,all the rocky road that i walked b4,it's worth it!I don't knw wat result that i'm going 2 get,and don't knw how are my future is going 2 b....

In form 6,other than knowledge in books,i learned that life is not that easy,people is not that naive...But,everything is not that complicated too...^^When v were young,happy is that easy,but when v grow older,easy is the most happy thing...when i was young,i wish 2 grow older!but now,i jz wish that i could go back to the past and enjoy my life!I met a lot of ppl during form 6....teachers,new frenz and changed a new environment too...SMK KULIM such a huge skul!sumtimes,i will just lost in the skul compound....Overall,SMK Kulim is really a SEKOLAH CEMERLANG...most of the students there is really very hard-working and brilliant too...

It's going 2 b 2011 soon...Wat i have done in 2010??erm....mayb too much of crazy and naive things that mayb i won't do in the future!that's called a teenager's life...haha...A new year,a new Cecilia!Cecilia is REBORN!

The Lucky Winner

Few days ago,i studied about biology,chapter:variation...I studied about sexual selection...It's about animals select their mates...peacock(male) is usually looks more attractive than the peahen(female)....the males will try 2 dance and show off its beautiful part of himself....and peahen jz stand a side and pick the male that she is think the best...and for some of the animals,they fight for the female,and who won the battle,he can get the female!and still.......female jz stand at a side and jz look who is the lucky winner...

And,in our real life,izzit tis selection apply in reality??erm...i doubt that...I think the selection is opposite in real life...I mean most of the time,OK??Movie,drama and also in real life,v can c that females are fighting 4 a guy!punching each other,scolding and cursing each other with bad words,this is very common nowadys...And,some of the females is try 2 attract the males by all sorts of things...Having a makeover with a very thick makeup,dress very nicely,talk very softly...And the difference is,this time is the male jz stand at a side and watch the "show"...

When girls chasing a guy needs courage....Usually gals image is very shy,very quiet (although i knw some are not!),so,it need lots of courage 2 confess the feeling 2 a guy!Haha...dun misunderstand my meaning...i'm not saying that i wan 2 chase a guy or anything...jz wan 2 express my opinion...

The Price of Greed

I admit that human’s greediness will never ends…..After,we got what we want ,it’s jz like try 2 “enticing” us to do more or expecting more that v should gain!

I keep on giving myself tans of excuses,bcoz I dun wan 2 let myself jz stop at one point!I dun wan jz stop there and always hope for miracle 2 happen!So,whenever I try giving up sumthing,I’ll still giving myself tans of non-sense excuses!OK!Now,is the time 2 stop all these excuses and stop lying to myself!

Going 4 an ordinary dinner din means anything! SMS is also nothing!so,I’m jz think too much of unwanted things….and I jz trying 2 make myself life so miserable….And,2day,u made me realised that,I’m jz a very tiny cell in your heart….Or mayb I’m jz not qualify 2 be a tiny cell also!

So,it’s time to stop all these things…Around one month later,there is really sumthing that I should concentrate on!I’m not going to giving up my STPM!!And ,YOU!!Stop “harassing” my mind!

Anyway, thanks 4 ur everything! Although u did’nt appreciate me,I still want 2 thank you!Thanks 4 making me become a stronger and tougher girl!thanks 4 your existence that coloured my life with colourful paint!

Forrest Gump says:”My mum says,Life is jz a box of chocolates,u will never knw wat you’re gonna get.”

我好烦啊!!!

感觉到我最近好像很EMO哦~也许是因为现在是假期吧，所以会比平时想得更多的东西!有时真的觉得很辛苦。。。
我知道有些事情即使再喜欢，再想去做，就是因为某些原因就不能去做了!在错的时间，也许做了些对的事，也会变到是错的!有时，我会控制不了自己的情感和情绪，但是又能怎么办呢??
最近读书真的专心不了!太有压力，再加上我脑袋好像很多东西在环绕着一样!救命啊!!
就要考预考了!!我还是这副样子!!讨厌!!!

紧张

不懂最近怎么了，我觉得自己好像很容易紧张那样!当我紧张时，我觉得我心跳加速，心跳变得好像很大声那样!血冲很快，冲啊冲。。。。然后，我感觉到肚子痛，手有点流汗。。。有时我还呼吸不到，要用很大的力气来呼!自己发生了什么事了啊??!

或者有时，做复习或功课做到一半，心觉得很乱很乱!不能够专心!只有大大声的喊出来!觉得自己有点疯疯癫癫了哦!

STPM 希望"你"快快完!不然，如果我再有这样的毛病，我会很惨的!!!!

2 weeks of holidays.....

Finally,2 weeks of holidays has jz started...Erm,i dunno wheather i should happy or sad...Happy mayb bcoz of i can rest for a while n continue my journey of form 6.....but sad is....after the holidays,my stpm trial starts...

F6 is really tough!i must admit that i'm take it too lightly at the beginning of form 6...bcoz i think it will b the same as form 5...but eventually is not!!is totally different!Form 6 is not easy as ABC...Too many things hv 2 memorize,and hv tans of formula and concept that v hv 2 understand,and still .....must memorize it!i jz hope that my brain can hv a 64 GB of memory card!Or i have a camera-like brain!jz capture watever things that i wan,when during exam,hahahahahaha!!i jz hope that i can reach my target at the end of stpm!

No matter what result that i'm going 2 get 4 my stpm,i'm appreciate the life that i'm in f6....No matter bitter or sour experiances that i had gone through,i think it will b a very sweet memories at the end.Too much of tears,too much of fake smile and too much of pretending....

But i think tis called "LIFE",isn't?

Jz left 2 more months 2 go.....So GAMBATEH !!

8月的天空有点灰。。。

我真的是觉得很辛苦!每次跟自己说要坚强后，自己都会不知不觉的哭了起来!流了第一滴眼泪，就会跟自己说流完第二滴眼泪就不可以再流了!但。。。。。却是越流越多!自己是如此的糟糕。。。我的心真的很痛，好像被一把尖锐的刀狠狠地插进我的心中!哭完后，以为自己会很噢给，但，情况还是一样!

希望越高，失望就会越大。。。。放弃也许就是最好的方法!失去也许也是种获得。。。。

PLEASE!

It’s 1.55 am now…I feel so so so so depressed now…ever since I enter f6,my life is totally changed!Not as naïve as last time…this may be a good thing for me,I guess…Sumtimes I just feel that I’m too over protecting by sumone else…this let me feel that I’m just a useless person…I scare I will used 2 it, and I will be always depend on others!In the future how can I survive in this cruel reality??I’m not that weak…I want 2 depend on myself….but,everytime,I started 2 build my self-confident, “u” jz like pouring cool water on me!I jz wanna try 2 prove myself that I can b independent!but seems like “u” din giv any chance 2 me 2 prove that I can be like others…i tried 2 grab whatever opportunities that can prove myself that I can do it!but seems like…is useless…………………

OK!i admit that I cares about others opinion towards me…How ppl think about me,how others speak 2 me!so,I more eager 2 prove myself that I really can do it!”u” really stands a very important place in my heart,so,I dun want 2 hurt ur feelings…I tried 2 tell “u” about this…but seems like “u”does’nt understand my feelings…Maybe “u” jz want 2 protect me from getting hurt!But,please!Give me sum empty space 2 prove myself and privacy!

6月24号的心情。。。。

不懂最近怎么了，心情变得好低落哦!想要发泄出来我心中所有的不满、伤心以及害怕的事，但，好像办不到哦!发泄情绪也是需要勇气、时间以及适合的方法!但，我全部都没有。。。每当我要做一件让我觉得很重要的事情时，我都是在犹豫不决或逃避，我没有勇气去面对!当我真真的有勇气去面对了，一切都变得不一样了!一切都成了定局!今天听了一句让我觉得很正确的话。。。每次我就只懂得去接受别人对我的好，对我做所的一切，但其实总有一天必须要还回的。。。这个世界是公平的!现在应该是时候要还回了。。。
我现在走着的这条路越来越暗了。。。不懂当初做的选择是否是对还是错呢?还有4个月!不懂4个月后的我是否会跟现在不同吗?

5 More Months 2 Go....

Very long time I din post anything in my blog ady…too busy with my form 6 life…It’s a full of challenge journey!

FINALLY…….My 1 week school semester exam was over….. Relieved and worried at the same time….My result isn’t very good as others,and I need 2 work very hard and have 2 put lots of effort 2 get what I want! But,isn’t tis called life??Too much of things that we can’t control by ourselves,feel like I’m too tiny and weak….But I’m still stick to my target and try 2 get the result that I want! If the result is not what I targeted,I will not feel guilty and regret,coz I tried my best! My sir told us b4,if we failed in stpm, it did’nt means that v are failed in our life, jz v did’nt have such a talent 2 get a good result like others!I’m appreciate my life in form 6,it’s too happy and meaningful!I get 2 knw many frenz and many sweet memories in Smkk…(Seems like I’m consoling myself)

Another 5 more months 2 go!! GAMBATEH!

A better world!

Although i cant predict my future,but i can decide my day...
2day i really feel very happy,although all these things is jz very small matter....but i ady satisfied...Watching movie with mom,n the cinema jz hv around 7 or 10 person inside...Inside the cinema is so cold,n an uncle phone keep on ringing,but overall i enjoyed my day!!because i'm my mother's daughter during outing,n in the skul,i'm a student.....
After this,i will continue my fighting journey!
I will always expect the unexpected....

A knife that stab into my heart...

Everytime i fall down,i will b tougher n tougher....Cry is jz a process 2 express myself....Sad is jz a emotion and feelings that cause by sumthing that i really care about.....And sumtimes,i hate my instinct for being so accurate....I'm so afraid sumtimes,i dunno whether i'm insane....But anyway,my life still will carry on,n i'm still Cecilia....there are nothing that i can change...

决定。。。

太久都没有在这儿写东西了!最近真的很忙。。。
最近，发了很多的恶梦，梦境很像是真的一样。。。吓醒了后，就睡不着了。。。
每当我做了某个决定，我都是希望自己不会后悔。。。所以，这次，我跟自己说一旦做了这个决定，我就不可以有后悔的余地!只能向前的迈进，不能往后看!所以我希望我这次做的决定是对的。感觉到对方比较开心了，也变得更有自由。对方可以做任何东西，说任何的话，却不必顾虑某人的感受。。。
虽然，有时还会听到对方的名字，对方的消息，心会酸了一下，但我还是会很努力的去过我的每一分钟。。。因为我知道时间并不会因我而停止，空气也一样会存在。。。
希望对方，会过得比以前更好!我会祝福对方的!